Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Jesus vs. Satan: Round 1


That's right boys and girls we are about to get our first look at the beginning of the greatest rivalry in the history of rivalries. Jesus vs. The Original Evil Genius. I'm guessing this is where comic book writers got the idea...Superman was created by two Jewish guys...sooo maybe Jesus wasn't their inspiration...anyway..

When we last left Jesus, He had just gotten baptized by JTB, and God let the world know who Jesus was (God...He speaks from the original P.A. system hahahahahahahahaha! Its ok to laugh that was funny). I can only imagine the description of the situation from some one would be..."It was awesome." And it was. 

We now pick with Jesus when He goes into the wilderness. he wasn't going on a camping trip. Nope he was going to be tempted. Now I honestly don't think that he knew that was the specific reason for his little trip. Couple reasons why I think this. One Jesus was fully human. God is one of the funniest people in the world. He doesn't tell us everything but expects us to trust him completely. This ladies and gents is call FAITH. Let's find it shall we? We spend so much time complaining to God about life and freaking out about how we don't know whats going on, we don't trust the fact that he knows what he's doing. Let me say that there is a sense of peace when total faith and trust is put in Pa's hands. Jesus had that kind of faith. The second reason why I don't think he knew, is because He didn't go into the wilderness on his own accord. I Cross referenced  all four Gospels (Matthew 4:1, Mark 1:12, Luke 4:1....John was useless), and they all said he was LED INTO the wilderness by the Spirit. Mark actually says the Spirit drove him there. Do you have any idea what this means? This means you aren't a bad Christian when you don't know whats going on in your life. Jesus didn't know what the heck was going on. He couldn't see what was planned for him. But He walked by FAITH and not by SIGHT(2 Corinthians 5:7, we haven't gotten there yet but we will). 

Jesus didn't let the fact that he didn't know what was going on stop him from walking with the why do we? Why do we, the people of the 21st century, the people who have more ways than ever to connect with God, the people who have the FREEDOM to be in his presence whenever we want, why do we make it so that our faith has to be like everything else in our lives? Let me be more specific; In the world we live in, we have everything not just at our disposal, but lightning fast. Internet, text messaging, (unless my mother is texting you which case that takes slightly longer but she always responds which is the point). We're impatient to the max. We have our bibles on our phones and Ipods because its more convenient. We have everything as soon as we want it, and we do that to God. We expect to have all the things he's thinking for us as soon as its thought, but if that were the case, IT WOULDN'T BE FAITH. Relying on God would be pointless, making Christianity not a lifestyle, but a religion. All the love is taken out of it. When you love someone you trust them (unless the person you love is a future Youth Pastor and prank prone...Mariah I'm really sorry....I'm prank prone). If ya love God trust him like Jesus.

Back to Jesus in the wilderness. He was there for forty days and forty nights. He was chilling with the Spirit for over a month. By himself. That had to just be awesome. Jesus was in the wilderness fully being prepared for the life he was meant to live. The Spirit was moving in him and through him. He probably danced (ahem ahem...he probably danced), he probably shouted, sang all kinds of praises and acted all undignified and what not....Then he got hungry....enter a not so formidable opponent (he thinks he's formidable).

Jesus was hungry and Satan knew he exploited it:

And the Tempter came and said to him "If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread" (Matthew 4:3)

Satan knew that Jesus was hungry and threw the first punch. He did the equivalent of calling him a chicken. He looked at Jesus and said ya know, the real Son of God would be able to satisfy his own hunger out here. Satan played mind games with Jesus...some would call this practice idiotic...they would be correct. One of my favorite things about Jesus is that he's a smart aleck (Spelling?). He's got a comeback for everything

But he answered "For it is written;
     " 'Man shall not live on bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God' " (Matthew 4:4)

Shoot with that response Jesus says "Check it, I don't need food. When my Father speaks I'm full. Say something of meaning, Fool." Jesus blocks the punch, with ease. 

Scene shifts to the Holy City a.k.a. Jerusalem. Satan throws another punch....because he's stupid:

5 Then the devil took him to the holy city and set him on the pinnacle of the temple 6 and said to him, "If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down, for it is written,
       " 'He will command his angels concerning you'
       " 'On their hands they will bear you up, 
               lest you strike your foot against a stone' " (Matthew 4:5-6)

Satan, decides to manipulate scripture. The verse he's referring to is Psalm 91:11-12. Now I just read all of Psalm 91, and I literally just about cried. The entire chapter is about God being a refuge. I'M SORRY BUT I'M SO PUMPED THAT I HAVE TO WRITE THIS IN ALL CAPS! SATAN DIDN'T REALIZE THAT HE JUST QUOTED FROM A VERSE ABOUT HOW GOD IS OUR PROTECTOR FROM THE DEVIL! "SATAN IS AN IDIOT" IS A SEVERE UNDERSTATEMENT!!! 
Jesus again has a comeback:

7 Jesus said to him, "Again it is written, 'You shall not put the Lord your God to the test' " (Matthew 4:7)

Jesus comes back at him and says "Silly, silly idiot. You want to manipulate scripture? This is your last warning, don't mess with me." 

Satan decides to try one more time. He takes him to a very, very, very high point. He can see all the kingdoms, and everything that comes with them. He can legit see everything. It had to be a beautiful sight. And Satan had to go and ruin it....

8 Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. 9 And he said to him, "All these I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me"

It's here boys and girls, where Satan steps outside of his mind. He tells Jesus, the Son of God, to bow down and worship him. Jesus is a King....Kings don't worship anyone. Satan would have known that if he was a King....but he's not, and Jesus has had it. And he proceeds to tear Satan a new one. 

10 Then Jesus said to him, "Be gone, Satan! For it is written, 
       " 'You shall worship the Lord your God and him only shall you serve' "
11 Then the devil left him, and behold, angels came and were ministering to him

Jesus finally has enough and gets pissed and let's Satan have it. He tells him "I won't bow down to you, but rest assured you WILL BOW TO ME!" I love it when Jesus gets pissed. Why? Because it shows us that he isn't that safe cuddly Jesus we've all grown up hearing about. Jesus was a straight up G. Thats comforting to know. My God is G and he'll straight up stomp the devil. Jesus: 1 Devil:0

So what can we get from this?

1.) Jesus really was human
            Yes He was. If he wasn't HE WOULDN'T BE TEMPTED! Jesus went through the same temptations that we go through every day....and he over came them. Knowing that, Shouldn't we be able to overcome the stuff in our lives if we give them to him? I'm saying this to myself more than I'm saying it to you, but I'm saying it to you too.

2.) Satan will stop at nothing
          El Diablo threw everything at Jesus. When he was hungry he called him a chicken, he tempted him with power, and called him a fraud. This shows us that Satan's sole purpose in life is to make us stumble with everything. We have to be strong and not let him in. We've got to stand firm behind our gangster Jesus.

The icing on the cake is that the angels took care of him after this whole thing. Just because we get knocked down, and we don't always feel God, doesn't me he isn't there and he'll always pick us up and put us back together....We're a bunch of Humpty Dumpties, but we don't need the kings horses and men....we just need one gigantic hand.